How I decided to do something ABSOLUTELY CRAZY after college

A little about me.

So this is the story of how I decided to go INSANE and build my own business straight out of college with absolutely no idea how. Well at least I think it’s insane anyway. Read on and you’ll see what I mean.

So first off, hi I’m Lou. I have a Bachelors degree in theater and something called “media screen studies”. It’s kind of like film studies but without ANY practical skill building.

So you might’ve guessed this already but RIGHT as my 5 years of college were ending for me I decided to almost COMPLETELY change careers. Almost all my life I had been studying to become an actor and eventually perform on stage or screen. I started in musical theater and eventually moved to straight plays and then some film acting. Then basically a lot of things happened (which I might go into in future posts) and I decided I wanted to be more in control of my destiny and to not have to prove to anyone that I was good enough to make the art I wanted to make.

So now I am: an actor, a singer (more for myself now), a writer(stage and screen), a director, an editor, a producer, a marketer, and anything else that trying to do something myself requires. I said, “I know how to have a social media account!” so I tried marketing. I said, “I’ve edited little short videos on my phone before!” so I tried to learn to use Adobe Premier Pro. Basically what I’ve learned so far is that you can fake pretty much everything and that mistakes are the biggest teacher (which duh everyone knows that). But honestly it’s one thing to know that but a completely different thing to experience. What if I’m not good enough? What if everyone HATES what I make even though I like it? What if I can’t do it?

It’s really hard to get past those questions.

So I made LOUZR Creative, a company where I could do anything and no one could tell me no. “Creative” can be anything. My mom came up with it. I can’t even begin to take credit. (Again I might go into it in another post but my family’s support for me is insane and I often do not believe I deserve it.) So, LOUZR is my name but it’s also because I’m creating for and with “losers”. Now that sounds bad but let me explain.

I find it so annoying talking about this over and over again because everyone’s talking about this now and it’s a whole movement but when I first thought of it for myself it was nothing short of revolutionary. So I am gay and transgender. Growing up I didn’t see myself on TV and I LOVED TV. I didn’t see myself in books either and I LOVED BOOKS. Actually for a while I thought “gay books” didn't exist because they weren’t at the school library or any other library I frequented as a kid. So I wanted to make stuff because it simply wasn’t there and that became the drive. (This timeline is very weird because I went back and forth on thoughts like these until I fully committed to the mission and started this company after I graduated college and that’s all that’s really important here.)

So in short I was the first “loser”. I didn't get to enjoy content that was about me. I didn’t even get to know who I was until I was about 18 and by then I had to learn from rated R movies and other adult content. 18 is still earlier than a lot of folks but “what if there was a better way?” I thought. What if I got to see it at a young age and know it was ok to be exactly who I was? And then… what if everyone got to?

I thought about all the people who were like me. I thought about all the people who were nothing like me. I bet they felt scared to be themselves too. I bet they wondered who they could be too and whether that was ok. I bet they would’ve liked to see that. And then I realized that we all somehow got it into our heads that the world thought we weren't good enough. No one should have to feel like that. Ever.

So I decided to make it my goal to listen to people that I could see felt the same as me, even if I didn’t understand everything.

So that’s what LOUZR is, a place where I genuinely and deeply want to be a part of change. I’ll be wrong sometimes and I’ll be human, but as much as I can I believe that I am supposed to help.

I thought I’d start this Substack to not only catalogue my journey in this really abstract and wild career path but to also maybe somewhat humanize myself to folks who eventually take part in my work or watch it, so they know what I’m really trying to do.

So that’s all! Share with your friends maybe if you found this interesting? I’m planning on sharing media essays I’ve written featuring my take on how gender functions in narrative content as well. So stick around for that if that sounds interesting!

And if you’re interested in my work or in LOUZR in general please have a look at the website www.louzrcreative.com !

As always if you have any other thoughts/comments/questions/concerns please comment!